E69: The Power of Purpose Over Retirement with Jay Setchell

Jay Setchell, a Marine Corps veteran and serial entrepreneur, shares his incredible journey of resilience and purpose after surviving 73 surgeries and a near-death experience. Discover how relentless stubbornness, small steps, and intrinsic drive can transform life's obstacles into stepping stones. Jay challenges conventional views on work, success, and retirement, showing that purpose fuels resilience at any age. Perfect for anyone facing setbacks or seeking motivation, this episode offers practical insights on cultivating a mindset that refuses to quit. Get inspired to embrace change, stay active, and realize your inner strength.

Connect with Jay:

https://neverquittrying.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Today's episode gets into something we all experience, whether we admit it or not. People judge you first by how you look, and then by what you say. First impressions matter, presence matters, but what matters even more is what you back it up with. Let's roll right in. All right, welcome to the work sucks but I like it podcast. Today we have Jay Setchel. He says, Don't ask why, ask why not. Multiple deaths and near-death experiences. He's a Marine Corps veteran, a serial entrepreneur, inventor, and author. He's had 73 surgeries, paralysis. He has his faith, though, his hope and prayer. He indicates that your purpose will change your life. Jay, welcome to the show. Hey, Tony, good to be here, buddy. Awesome, man. Define work for us today, Jay. I don't think I've ever worked.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

I I I really don't. I I think that everything's always been, whether in the past or whether now, is it's always I I'm I'm I have a lot of gratitude and I'm gracious just to be alive. And and so when work, so do you to use the term comes along, it's never been work because it's always been about other people and helping other people and doing for others and and and and I I I I'm just glad to be alive. So it I've got if I got something to do and I make something to do, we're good to go.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

I love that. So Jay, 73 surgeries. Yes, sir. My lord. Can you walk us through, I guess, why so many, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

Well, I'm I'm uh uh I I I I about got ground up like hamburger when I was 17 years old in a feeding auger accident and broke my right ankle and right leg and stuff. If it had gone another four or five seconds, it had uh it just chewed me all. I'd have been I turned into hamburger. But so I had a couple from that, but then uh in the Marine Corps, I I I uh I died on the night of November 12, 1969, uh in the Marine Corps, and I had a lot of surgeries there from uh 32 facial fractures, crush skull, uh my left ankle was twisted backwards, busted ribs, punctured lungs, uh, you know, uh just about every part every part of me has had a surgery is pinned, rotted, fused, replaced, or something, except my right wrist and my left elbow. Everything. Every bone I've got that I know of. So, but but you know, and then the car accident and uh from the drunk driver in 73, and then uh uh my broken neck in 81 when I was 31 years old. And you know, and then as you get older, things compile. Like I've had 16 left knee surgeries, and it's been replaced three times on top of everything, and 15 back surgeries, and it it just they just add up over the years. But it's it's a lot harder to get through those and getting and staying alive than it is going to work or or having a job or starting companies.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

So, Jay, a lot of people today associate their identity with sort of how they look, their abilities. How have you shaped your identity going through these seven to three surgeries and having this tremendous outlook that you have in life now?

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Well, when you say how people look, I I I know this from uh years and years and years ago, is people judge you first by what how uh what you how you look or what they see, and then by what you say. And the first ten words out of your mouth are more important than the next 100. So, you know, that's that's a that's a good thing. You can take it to the bank. But I I don't I've never judged myself on I've never judged myself against anybody or anything or what I look like or what I do is just what can I accomplish and can I get it done correctly, you know, and I and I and I'm a doer. So I when I say I I'm gonna do her, I do it, I do it now, I do it completely, and I follow through. So I I I don't really think the the only thing that the surgeries and starting different companies and my one my one or two corporate stints um has it really did was I've moved a lot. I mean, I've moved physically and started a lot of places differently. A lot of people really have a problem with moving, say, from uh uh just just throw out town San Antonio to Denver to Spokane, Washington, back to uh Raleigh, North Carolina. If they did that, they'd think the world was gonna end. I I've moved between companies I've started and times I've moved, homes I've built and moved into is right around 40. Wow. And I'm 76. So that's that's about every year and three quarters I I make a move. And sometimes there was two and three in a year.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Why do you think our culture is so attached to these sort of I'll call it extrinsic things, right? We're attached to our our house or our car. Like how how have you kind of detached from all these things and sort of just yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Good question. I I um I believe a lot of people today i it i i I I in in my opinion, I've got my oldest son's 56. Uh I adopted him uh, but my oldest natural son is 50, uh, my youngest one is 39. And I I I believe that people don't have things move fast. In in the last I call it the microwave society because everybody wants everything quick. I've called it the microwave society for 40 years because you know, just pop it in and pop it out. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. But yet they want to attach something and say, that's mine. That's mine. I I don't want to let that go. That's why some people are hoarders or they hang on to stuff they don't need. And I came from, you know, a big working farm with a lot of cattle and a lot of a lot of activity, but I knew I saw the cycle of life because it was from up north northern Illinois to south of Wisconsin. So the cycle of life gives you a whole different perspective, Tony, because you you know you got your your your spring when everything's fresh and it's green and it's growing and you're planting. The summer's when you're taking care of stuff and cultivating and spraying and whatnot. Fall you harvest, you bring your crops in. Uh winter, you're down, you're either doing another job, you got another business, uh, you're fixing equipment, you're getting ready. Or we fit a lot of cattle, a lot of cattle. And you see those cattle grow and have to be shipped off to market and you get another set in. So I I was used to change all the time. And you know, if if you want to better yourself, you you have to be able to elect to say, hey, I'm willing to take the move. I'm willing to take the challenge. Part of the reason I I moved someone corporately was because they had terrible, terrible problems in other divisions. And I said, Hey, I'll do it. And I and as soon as you turn the problem around, then you get called again and again and again because I'm that old Marine Corps sergeant and I'm not afraid of it. What are they gonna do? Kill me? I've already been dead three times. You know, I mean it's like I should have been dead a few more. So they I don't have any reason not to go. And then you you've you've bettered the people that should be bettered or helped, and you're able to help your clients and the customers and your company. So I don't I'm I'm I hope I answered your question.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Absolutely. No, this is great, Jay. So one of the things I'd like for you to continue exploring here for us is I love how you're going from the extrinsic sort of why are we attached to all these things. Walk us through now what you're kind of alluding to, this intrinsic desire. When you see a challenge, you want to take it on, right? You want to do these things. Walk us through how you've like sort of cultivated this intrinsic desire to do things.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

I'm gonna presume it's because of the way I was raised and how I grew up. And by the time I was five years old, and before that, I was collecting eggs from, you know, 1,200, 1,500 chickens and sorting white eggs and brown eggs. That's pretty easy to figure out for that age. You know, double yokers are the great big ones, and you put them over here and you come up with a case full of 30 dozen eggs, and then your dad would take them to the candling plant, you know, and you're still sorting eggs from, you know, 1,200 chickens, and he's got three or four cases of eggs he's taken off. Well, um, in uh feeding calves. You know, I was feeding calves with a nipple bucket, going down in the basement and beating up powdered milk with warm water and and doing that when I was five years old before I was five, actually. And, you know, you dragged a bucket through the snow in the wintertime and through the tall grass in the summertime. But those calves become bigger and they move into the cattle lot with the other cattle. And I I think that it's just a constant um I it's it's it's it's something I've always seen is change because we all change. Right now, whatever age you are, in in another three years, you're gonna be 20 years older because time goes faster as you get quicker or you get older, you know. And and and I know that's a uh kind of a joke. In three years you'll be 20 years older, but it'll seem like it. You know, you'll it'll seem like it. And and and I think that the the the more you try and do and experience the more you become um the more experienced you become, the more the more and and the more problems you take over, the more resilient you become. You know, you're you you have a better uh perspective of success. What is success? You know, if a lot of people ask that. I success has a million different terms. Everything, everybody has a different uh definition of success. But I I just believe that it's uh I I'm not gonna fail. I'm not gonna fail. I'm not gonna let it happen. And I learned that by just taking small steps. And when I started my businesses, all my businesses, you take small steps. Dream big, take small steps. And the reason is is because that way if you falter or you need to change, you haven't gone and take this big leap or or a big loan or or whatever. You've you've done it a little bit at a time, but you can do it pretty rapidly. If you take little tiny steps, you can take a little tiny step every day. You know, you don't have to do it once a week. But and and so henceforth, uh I I just like to see the change. I like to see it. It's a challenge. And you know, I mean, like when you're when you're when you're in the m uh a Marine when you're 17 to barely 18, and you're dead when you're 19 in the Marine Corps, uh and and then you spend a year in the naval hospital and it took you you lay in bed for eight and a half months in traction and stuff, and all this other stuff, I you've overcome a hell of a lot. By the time I was 20, 21, I mean, well, by the time I was 20, I mean, I'd been through the ringer.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

You aged 20 years and three years now.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Oh, yeah, I did. Probably born that, actually. Probably did. You know, but uh and uh keep a you know, it's kind of like keep a smile on your face because it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

You know, it's like somebody if you walk somebody, somebody comes in, they go, uh you know, you wonder what what have you been doing? You know, but you you're gonna get down, but just don't stay down. Get back up, you know. That's all.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

So talk to us more, Jay, about the work ethic of today. And I guess I want to separate it for generations because I know you've got many years of experience of this lifetime. So walk us through the younger generation and the work ethic. What are you seeing? What are you seeing? I guess I'll start with that.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Um I I I see some. I just had a discussion with somebody else on this the other day, just another another Marine by chance. Love it. And uh I, you know, and I said, you know, it's the Marines of today, in my mind, some of them are very, very, very good. But they don't, you know, it's like the generations of today, as a rule, as a generality, can't take, they gotta have their safe areas. They have to have their their their, oh, don't say that about me, or don't judge me like that, or whatever. Well, we got that all the time, and it never stopped us. It didn't bother us. It's like the greatest generation of World War II guys. You know, do you think that bothered them? No, not a bit. But I see some young people that are out here that are sharp as hell. They're sharp. I mean, they're good, they're hard working, they get it. They got it, they're moving forward. And and and and I think a lot of them, uh some of it it they just have it, which I think that comes from. And I talk about that in my book a little bit, and you know, the strength within you, it's always too soon to quit. Because some people draw off their DNA, some draw off their maybe their their religious upbringing, their family, teachers, they're a million different things. Um, but I I think that some the the more people I see that are younger, that have really got something going in the direction, actually quite often talk to a mentor that is 30 or 40 years older than they are. Somebody with experience, somebody that's been there. You know, and there's an old saying, you know, it's hard to it it's it's it's hard to fly with the eagle, sore with the eagles when you're when you're hanging out with turkeys. You know, you've heard that, you know, and so that that's that's a saying too, you know, that that you know, surround yourself with those that are on the same mission that you're on, but your mission will always be different or have a different tune to it than their mission. Even if they're on the same mission, they don't see your vision. Your vision, no matter what, Tony's vision of successful podcasting is different than Bob's vision of successful podcasting. You may have the same goals, you may want to end up in the same place, so to speak, but your your visions are different. So, but I I I think that mentorship, now I I'm a uh partner, a very large partner, and and very very heavily invested in a company that's national. We we just went international in 48 other countries. And that being said, uh I'm I'm 31 years older than the next oldest guy in the company, and that's the CEO. And he's another Marine. But but you know, and so I end up being more the vision or or let's get back to basics, and I see a lot of young people today that a lot of people, period, up to 50, because you gotta remember 76, like the gentleman I said I listened to is 82. Yeah, you know, when you talk to me, like, well, what about the the the generation behind you? Hell, they're 55. Yeah, are you kidding me? You know, it's like that where are we at? You know, so compared to you, they're older. So, but I I think a lot of people don't get back to the basics, Tony. The basics of customer service, quality, delivery, show up, be on time, be ahead of time. You know, all the little basics that got people to what they did for years back and it that's just what it is.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

I love that Jay. I mean, I I'm a millennial, I'm 38 years old, but I can definitely hear what you're saying with getting back to the basics. Show up on time, right? It's not a difficult thing. You say you're gonna show up at eight, you show up at eight.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

Like I don't know why it's such a problem. Well, if you're gonna show up at eight, be there at 10 to 8.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Even better. Exactly. Exactly, right.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

My I was raised, my my dad, Tony, when I was a little kid, little kid, I remember him saying, always leave early enough to be able to change a flat tire into mud.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

In the rain. Plan for the worst. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

You know, prepare for the worst.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Be be there early.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

And then in the military or the Marine Corps at least, we're always there early. You're if you're there at eight o'clock, you're late. If you're there at 10 to 8, you're probably late. You know, but but not only just be there, you know, if it is to be, 10 two-letter words. If it is to be, it is up to me. Okay. So you don't don't lay it on somebody else. Don't don't point the finger at somebody else. Oh, I didn't get the job done. I didn't get this complete. I didn't make the sale because, because, because. Nah, bullshit. You know, it's your problem. It's your fault. You weren't you weren't thinking right, you weren't looking at it correctly. You you should have looked at it from a little different angle. But but it flashed back on you. Take back ownership and take responsibility.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

I love that, Jay. So I want to pivot now because I love where you went with the younger generation. So I want you to speak now to the older generation, but I know you're kind of a different perspective because you said you've owned businesses and whatnot, and you've got a book and things like that. Speak to the older generation that view working towards retirement. What is sort of, I guess I'm going to bias my view on it, what's the pitfall with that thinking?

SPEAKER_03 18:41

No, it's bad. Bad, bad decision. Bad decision, bad decision. Because I I'll tell you what, you you're you're old enough that you've remember some teachers, I'm sure, that retired, that they quit working. And how long did they live? Not long. They didn't live long. And you said it yourself. I didn't say it. I didn't put the words in your mouth. If when people work till they're 65, by the time they're 75, 90% of them are dead. Or or before. Because, oh, I'll just I'll sit back, I'll do things at my leisure, when I want, how I want, and all this. And in and and I and let me share this with you. Many several years ago, I read a book, and I I don't remember the name of the book. I it was a it was a true story. And it was a group of people, it was like 25 people, and they had a goal. They wanted to visit um, I believe it was all the monasteries or or uh this number of monasteries in Burma. So Burma, if you're familiar, Burma, the Burma hump, they flew over in World War II, the flying tigers and all that stuff. And it's up in the mountains. It's always in, it's up in the it's up in the the the fog and the mist and the the snow and all that. And they had this goal to go from mission to mission to or monastery to monastery to monastery. And the last one was way, way, way, way, way up. And and that was their goal. And they've been on this trek for like two years. And when they finally got to their goal and they saw the monks and they spoke to those people, okay, and then they they're there, well, of course they had to go down the mountain, right? Or down the mountains, plural. And when they got to the bottom of the mountains, they had no more goals. Yeah. They had nothing left in their life. They had they didn't know what they were going to do. And out of the, I think there were 26 people out of that group. And over 20, I think it was 21 or 22 of them faded into the memory. They faded away to nothing. They became nothing because they didn't have any further goals in their life. That was a lifetime goal. So if your lifetime goal is to work till you're 65 or 67 or 72 or 62 or whatever, that's fine. Quit. Stop. Retire. But go do something else. Reach out. If you're alive, help somebody. Reach out, mentor somebody. And you know what? Even if you don't think you can speak well or you can talk to somebody well or something, you more than likely can. It's just something within you that's that's kind of, you know, um, you don't feel comfortable with it. But get get over that uncomfortableness and you will become more resilient. You know, you will move ahead and you will help other people. But whether it's helping at the food bank, whether it's whether it's uh uh catting at a golf course when you're 65 years old, who cares? You know, maybe you're a pretty good golfer, but you'd like to cat you have fun. You get paid to do it. I mean, there's a million things to do. Um so but but don't don't quit. You know, I I'm never I'm 76, I've already got my my next nine years planned out to 85, and I'm working on my next ten years. I love it. Because Well, i it but it keeps me young. And I mean I don't look, don't sound, or at least I get told that, then I'm seventy-six. You know, m maybe they're lying to me because they you know, I no. But you know what I'm saying? It's it's like uh uh i i it what if you stay active, you're doing good. It's kinda like that old saying back when you're younger, you know, use it or lose it.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

And that's really what it is, is don't y you people have too much to offer, and you're gonna be dead before you know it anyhow. What why why make it sooner? And I don't mean to say that roughly or be nasty about it, but it is. I mean, you're our life is only the average man age of 76 years old. I'm there now. You know? And I could die tonight in my sleep. You know, I could die right now for that matter, but hopefully I will. Please not, please not.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

You've been a great guest. Please don't die yet.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

Yeah, yeah, we got to get through the podcast. I I just think that people have more to offer and it whatever they've done, whatever they've been doing, if they've been an auto mechanic or they've been uh uh um uh working in the petrochemical field, share that knowledge with another group. Maybe there's a maybe there's a club at the high school that they could they could help with the auto club or the or the chemical department, maybe the key in the chemistry department. They would like to talk to a petrochemical engineer or somebody that's been working in the petrochemical field.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

And I'm just making something up. I'm pulling it out of the blue. So, Jay, this is great. So, one of the things we like to say in the show that success is not a matter of good luck, it's good skills. What would you say is the skill towards you're kind of sort of talking about it, this purpose. What is a skill for the audience to think about in terms of working towards this purpose in their life?

SPEAKER_03 23:55

I I I'm gonna use I'm gonna I'm gonna give a set a few words, and then I'm gonna give another word separately, okay? And and in and and the the words I would say together are pretty much it they call it mindset. Back in my day it was called attitude. Because, you know, back in in my day, attitude, because it's like you could hear somebody that was grumpy, you'd say, Man, they need an attitude adjustment, you know, or they need to go out and get loaded or something, get get drunk, you know. I mean, they need to get a hangover and get an attitude adjustment. Um, but attitude, perseverance, uh, resilience, uh, uh grit, uh, determination, stick with it, uh uh stick toitiveness was the old word we had back in my day. But but the one word s the one particular word I like the most out of I think everything is just plain stubbornness. I am not gonna stop. Stubborn. Be stubborn about it. You that can have good connotations or bad connotations, but if you do it in a positive way, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna stop. When they told me I would never walk, I I, you know, after my neck was broken, I was never supposed to move anything from my shoulders down. Now my left arm worked pretty good. My wrist has been fused with bone from my right pelvis and a few other things like that. You know, and my shoulder's been rebuilt and my deltoid muscles severed, and a bone out the back of my arm, and my fingers have been broken and knuckles, but but my hand, um but I work something. My right one, I can flip my arm, but my hand's dead, but I don't quit. So you're stubborn about it. You know, I I just think that that's and if if you maintain that, no, I'm I'm not gonna do it. That's not what I I I I can get through this.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

What a skill though, Jay, of learning to say no, right? What other people tell you. Like, walk us through how you built sort of this confidence to be like, no, I'm not gonna take that as an answer. I'm gonna keep doing this.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

Well, that's a good question. Um It just came naturally to me. So it's hard to I gotta think about that one. How did I get a no? Um I I believe it's it's from your judgment really. Uh ultimately. I mean in other words, I just use it automatically. It's very quick because I I've like I said before, with the companies, I mean I've started so I've started uh like eleven, ten or eleven, twelve companies. And you know, i it it I think it's just a it's a learned habit. It's a learned skill. It's something you learn, it's a judgment call. It's kind of like should I pull out? I see, I see a little uh I see a Volkswagen coming and I'm driving a Peterbilt and I feel like pulling out, I could do that. But if I see a Peterbilt coming and I'm in a Volkswagen, I'm not gonna pull out in front. That's a bad judgment call. I'm gonna say, no, don't do that. So I think it's something that you you inherently pick up through life, through time. What is it that Tony would say no to because he's experienced in that area, or just say, I don't think so. I I'm gonna I'll set this one out. But if you also take small steps, you learn when to say no quicker because now you see it. You didn't step into it with one big leap. Just that that little that little step. And you can retract that little step pretty quick. But you can't, you know, it's like a difference between a 22 short and a 12-gauge slug is two different rounds. It's like one, you yeah, well, anyhow. That's it. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

I love the the the Peter, the the truck and then the Volkswagen. What a great way to think about that in terms of bouncing and saying no. That's what it's like, oh man, I gotta implement that in my thinking. Because one of the things I struggle with, Jay, is like I have a hard time saying no to guests on the show. I want to please people, but you're saying it's like I love this idea of stubbornness, like sticking to the principles of what should be on the show, who should be on here as a guest. So thank you. That's a little coaching moment there. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Oh, uh you're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Awesome. So, Jay, this is the work sucks, but I like it podcast. What is one thing that sucks about your work today, and what are you doing to make it not suck?

SPEAKER_03 28:41

I I there again, I don't the only thing that I can think that kind of I don't know, I don't want to uh use the word suck, but I guess it and I and I talked to a certain person today about something where I've got uh way into the six figures invested in it, and I'm not getting the communication that I feel I deserve. And I've said, Hey, I've got too much invested in this and we could get into numbers if you want, because I'm two thirds of the company and and you can either communicate better or I'll withdraw funds. You know, I mean that's kind of a I I I don't I I the reason I don't think of of it like that, and I know that's the name of your show, Tony, I understand it. But I I I don't and I was thinking about it before I, you know, was even on here. Wow, you know what? I it's I I think that I have moments or minutes or maybe an hour that of something I'm I'm not appreciative of or I don't like, or the things I'm going through with technology and the bank, or if you got an account that got compromised, or a credit card that got used by somebody else, compromised, not used by, because you got it in your pocket. Going through that hassle of dealing with the Social Security Department or the Veterans Administration for me, or things like that, that's a pain in the ass. I hate it. That I hate because you don't get anywhere. You're dealing with a nobody that just looks at you as a number. And but as far as work, I I I just I think that if you try to always help other people, well, the uh something I'll just say it this way the more people you help, the better person you become. And that's a fact. That's a fact. It's gonna help you. And if you do it correctly and help people the right way or for the right reason, they're gonna help somebody else. They're gonna let it rub off. They're gonna they can say, hey, you know what? I maybe not everybody, and maybe not to all people. But if it's to some, that's a long, that's a help of a lot further down the road than where it was before. You know, but but I don't I I I just think I I have a different perspective on it, Tony, because of what I've been through physically. I mean, I've spent almost four years of my life in hospitals. Okay, four years of my life, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 30 days a month, 31 days a month. I mean, it gets old, trust me. And so how how can I compare some rather insignificant I'm gonna interrupt something here or my thought train. My my thought train. Many, many years ago, I I had about six weeks, I had nothing to do, and I had a buddy of mine that was a uh my brother was best man for him and his wedding, and he was like six, seven years older than I was, and uh he was putting up uh uh well they call them pole barns, metal buildings, you know, with the the the posts that go in the ground and curlins and such. Well, we were nailing on the I was on the west side of a building and the wind was coming out of the east, and it was blowing hard enough. Well, you're sitting there holding two sheets of metal in, and you're holding this big screw, you got a 20-ounce hammer, and you're whacking that sucker, and I'd hit my thumb, and I'd hit my thumb, and my thumbnail was off, my finger had been squirting blood, the pain was terrible, and I'm going like, but you gotta get you gotta get the metal on, right? You know, and so where was I going with the story? I was going, it was a good example.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Work sucks, but you're like it as well. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:45

Work sucks, but but you know what? It's very seldom can somebody pull up and put up a 60 by 90 foot metal building with a four-man crew, get there on Monday morning, leave on Friday afternoon, and it's done. It's done. The doors are on, the two windows are in, the the walk-in doors on, it's completed, the roof is screwed on, you know. And and I gotta tell you, just for for the for the audience, it's kind of funny, because I'm sure somebody out there is a roofer. Or they're or they've been on a roof, and they and they've they've hammered shingles on, they've put metal roofs on, but we used to screw the roofs on. And uh so I got t-shirts for everybody that and on the back of it said we screw on roofs. Think about it. It was it was a joke. It was like That is funny. And a buddy of mine, a a real good buddy of mine, was a poured a lot of concrete, and he had a pretty good sized screw. And for his birthday, when he when he turned 25, uh he took it over from his dad. His dad had passed away from a heart attack. He took it over and and uh I I got in t-shirts that said lopin's concrete on the front, and on the back it said, get stoned, drink wet cement. Wet cement. It's got rocks.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Yeah, that's what it was.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

But it's fun, you know. Have a little have a little fun with life, you know, and and uh it it it it it it eases the pain. But but that thing with that I'll never forget, you know, I'd forgot about till I was just telling you, but man, that thumb hurt. You know, you look at it, it was like the size of my foot, you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

And is that another surgery of yours or no? That add the tally mark with the thumb. No, that was just another That was just a flush wound, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

That was just a flush wound.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Yeah. Oh man. Well, Jay, it's been a pleasure having you on the show. If you mention your book quite a bit. If listeners want to find your book strength within you, it's always too soon to quit, where's a good place for them to land? Uh learn more about your work.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Amazon, Amazon's got it, Barnes and Noble's got it. But it's uh and and what it does, it talks about some of my deaths, it talks about some of my physical issues. It's not very big, it's like a four-hour read, it's a quick read. And I use small words because and I got some pictures in there too, for those that like pictures, you know. And but but what it and it it it's just because I wrote it, and that's why it's small words. I'm not into big words. Let's uh let's call it what it is. It's let's talk normal man talk. And uh, but what it does is the reason I wrote it was it I want to give people a reason to reach. You have a strength within you, Tony. Not in you have a strength inside of you, but inside of you is more personal. Uh that's where I'm coming from. So the strength within you is where you've where did you get all your strength from? You got it from maybe you got a little bit something from maybe you got something from me. Maybe you got something from the other gentleman that this that's 82. You pick a little something up from everybody that's energetic, that's positive, that's got a passion to live, to stay going, to keep moving forward. And and out of that though, what that strength that's in you, is it persevere? I mean, it what is it is it your attitude, your mindset in today's terms? Okay, is it your DNA? Is it your church where you were raised? Is it your neighbors? You know, did you know I raised on a big farm and and and you know, all of our neighbors were a mile or two miles or five miles away, and and they took care of us too. If I was bad at their house, which I never was, but they'd they'd whoop your butt, you know, and then when you got home, you got your butt whooped again. But the thing is that um you um oh man, I was lost it again. I'm I'm thinking about my neighbors now. That's all right.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

Just still talking about the book and what the readers can take away.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

But but you if you dig inside of you, is it are you aggravated? Are you frustrated? Are you are you are you in a lot of pain? When pain pushes me, I push back and I'm in a lot of pain. 15 back surgeries, I hurt like hell, and I'm sitting here in a big old power wheelchair. And um use those things, or whatever that might be that you have within you, grab a hold of them with with your hand and and use them to help you give you perseverance to get through the the the obstacles and the roadblocks down the road. And and and you you'll better yourself, you'll do better. And you know, it's not so much about overcoming an obstacle as what you've learned from what you overcame and what can you use in the future. And when you've overcome at your age 30 obstacles, let's just say, and in 15 years you've overcome 50 obstacles. At my age, I've overcome a hundred or whatever. Well, it and it you you do. If if you get good out and you you're active in life, you'll try to. You know, you you can't you can't get through life aggressively or with any passion or with any determination or with any success that you're not gonna run into roadblocks. And so the the book really comes back and says, how can you get through that? How can you get over those? And that's that's really what it is is try to try to help people move ahead and and realize what they can do. That's that's but and then I got a website, and luckily enough, of all the damn names available for a website. No, I'm thinking I'm sitting thinking, what would I call it? Because I I put, you know, man, I'd never it's always too soon to quit. I'm never gonna quit. I'm not so I put in never quit trying. It came up, neverquittrying.com.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

My website. We'll put that in the description for the listeners. So, Jay, it's been a pleasure having you on the show. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 38:53

Hey, thank you, sir. I appreciate it. I salute you. And you had a good salute. My wrist is with the fusion. So I gotta work at it like this.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

Sorry, well, your right hand is No, I'm right.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

Yeah, I know I gotta use my left hand. I'm not used to that.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

But one thing I really took away from this conversation with Jay is that experience compounds. The more things you try, the more confidence, perspective, and judgment you develop over time. That's why dreaming big matters, but taking small, consistent steps matters even more. I look at my PhD program. I'm now three years into this program, and I have about a year and a half to go. 13 classes out of 15. I just finished statistics and going to be doing my dissertation the end of 2026. We also talked about in this episode the difference between attitude and mindset. Everybody has bad days. Everybody gets frustrated. But plain stubbornness can carry you a long way in life. Don't quit on yourself too early. Stay in the fight, as Jay reminds us. Keep learning and keep showing up. And maybe the biggest lesson is this the more people you help, the better person you become. Helping people sharpens your awareness. It builds patience, humility, leadership, and even connection. It reminds me of that Zig Ziggler saying that you can get anything in life that you want if you help enough people get what they want. So here's the skill for today. If you're listening to this late at night, walk back through your day and think about who you helped. Maybe it was a coworker, a customer, a friend, or someone in your family. Notice those moments. And if you're starting your day with this episode, ask yourself a simple question How many people can I help today? Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time.