E80: Be Inspired by Many, But Influenced by Few (Monthly Reflection)

Be inspired by many, but influenced by few. June 2026 guests!

Chasing a single purpose is a trap ~Mark

Work is about personal enrichment. ~Matt

Retirement is outdated. ~Lynn

The joy of giving back to others. ~Saw

Stop that scrollamitis online! ~Melanie

The power of relatable stories is influence. ~Danny

See the person, not the disability. ~Kevin

Tune into your own rhythms, not external goals. ~Holly

All the good "skills" and ideas of work (and what can suck!) this last month to think and reflect on. Thanks to PodMatch for the continual pool of great guests, Riverside for the recording and editing platform, and Buzzsprout for hosting this podcast!

Transcript

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Another month of reflections and you know, be inspired by many but influenced by few. And June 2026 was pretty awesome. I saw quite a range of, you know, I got to experience quite a range of conversations for sure. But I want to start out with a sort of an awesome review from a couple months ago from User Speaking 247. I'd say your name if I knew you. But this is what they wrote on on Apple Podcasts. And I really think it's a great way to sort of summarize the podcast to date. This isn't your typical career. Wow, this isn't your typical career podcast. It's more like a quiet, honest reckoning with what work really means. Tony creates space for his guests for deeper reflection, leaning into tension instead of rushing to easy answers. The conversations feel thoughtful, raw, and refreshingly unpolished, inviting listeners to sit with the complexity of burnout, purpose, and identity. It's a compelling listening for any question, anyone for anyone questioning not just what they do, but what it matters. And you can see right there that, you know, sucks for me trying to read the same size, so that work sucked right there. But certainly love the review, so thank you so much for that. And I really resonate, right? I don't want the easy answers. I don't believe that, you know, life is, you know, it's sometimes sold to us that there's these quick fixes, right? That we, you know, if you get a coach, you do these five things, you're gonna be on your way. And yes, there's the time to tune up. I remember when I was, you know, practicing hard, very hard, a lot of time hours for competitive golf. And I would see a swing coach, you know, right before the tournament, right? So I think, you know, but don't overlook the fact that it takes hard work, right, to be able to do the things that you want to do. So again, thanks for everyone taking the time to write reviews. I want to make it sort of a thing now with the monthly, you know, reviews, just to kind of give a shout out back to the audience. Because one of the things that's important about reviews is for you listeners, it's a chance for you to now begin to articulate and I want to say take credit, but publish and sort of own that, you know, articulation of what you're saying. And I think that's really, really sort of an awesome skill to have and something that I would love to share on future episodes. So July, you know, 2025 is when I started this podcast. And we hit 75 episodes, you know, this this past month of June 2026. And it was really sort of amazing. It the time has been flying by, if you will, certainly a flow state, you know, here and there. Definitely a lot of challenges, right? There's definitely times that still suck again with people ghosting, you know, on the podcast and not telling me for days later and you know, coming up with an excuse. And maybe something happened, right? I mean, that's my first thing. I always give people a couple shots. You know, I get it, life happens. Um, but again, 75 episodes, you know, amazing, right? And, you know, my goal is to hit 100. And as we've been learning on the show, you know, with my reflections, even with guests and the questions, it's important to have goals for sure, right? So I want to hit 100 episodes. But, you know, remember, it's not always about the goal. It makes me think about Zig Ziggler. You know, everybody wants to be free, but when you take a train off the tracks, it's free, it doesn't go anywhere. So if we don't have goals, we're not going to go anywhere, right? The train still has to get to the destination. So we need to set a course for something and just keep working and not be so attached to the outcomes. Of course, strive to get to the station, right? I'm not saying get on the train and go off the cliff. You know, obviously work hard to cross the finish line. So our first guest, you know, Mark DiCarlo, the guy was awesome, right? He's like calling me, you know, on his phone. He's like, oh, you know, shit, I'm on my way. And, you know, I got a new meeting and I really want to be on this podcast. And I said, absolutely, man. I mean, I was honored to the fact that he wanted to be on the show. So he was on uh Seinfeld, he was an actor, a voice actor in Jimmy Neutron, on uh TV show I used to watch in Nickelodeon growing up. He's done, got some more kind of cool work coming out. The guy was awesome. I mean, he was just so much fun to have on the show. And what I loved about him is that, you know, he reminds us that we need to live our lives. You know, he's done all these different types of relatively different things, right? Still in the entertainment realm of work, if you will. And, you know, but what I love about what he indicates is that it's not about just like one single purpose. It's about doing all these different things, right? It's not being busy either. It's in being engaged. And that's something that I find, you know, when I tell people the things that I am working on, they're like, oh, wow, Tony, you're so busy. Well, it's not busy. Like, let's make it clear that busy, to me, busy, you're like hiding something, right? You're being busy to avoid something. When you're engaged, when you're being productive, you know, being effective with what you're doing, now you're living, right? And that's the simple truth. And, you know, again, it's not to say that you need to make your own TV shows or write your own books, whatever, but you can be, you know, engaged and effective in your relations that you have with people and the immediate work that you have now, even if you think it sucks, right? And, you know, the whole conversation with Mark, too. Again, you've been hearing the theme. I can't help but the bias of phones is that no one cares. You know, no one's gonna give a shit about your workout that you put online. Yes, it makes you feel good. Some people will, you know, give a few likes. But, you know, it's like it's entertainment, right? You got to imagine yourself, you know, you're putting it on there. The people scrolling on there, well, they're not working out. They're just scrolling online. So to me, it's sort of a it's a fine line, right? And I asked him the question, how do you balance, right? Especially in his industry, this idea of being online and, you know, entertainment. And of course, he's in the entertainment industry. And I think it's again that fine line of just finding that sort of rhythm to post and sort of the types of posts, right? When Mark is posting, he's posting shows, you know, he's done the work. And one of the things that he says is that the work is to, you know, essentially study the lines, and then the act is, and then to to the act of uh, you know, playing them out, that's the fun. That's the that isn't the work, right? So we all have to study our lines, we all have to do the reps at times, but know that, you know, the performance, you know, will come, you know, when we prepare ourselves and look forward to it. So then we had my friend Matt, right? Matt Ogonowski, he's been a listener since day one. And, you know, at first he was hesitant to come on the show. And he had some things going on in his life for sure, and I could understand, you know, some things that he was working through on the personal front. And, but, you know, his reasons for not wanting to be on the show kind of floored me in the sense of, you know, he you felt like he hadn't accomplished anything, right? I brought a lot of coaches on, you know, Mark DiCarlo, you know, he's got these TV episode shows that have, you know, very popular. And I'm thinking to myself, Matt is the perfect person to bring on the show, right? Because it's not all about the fame and the glory and whatever the hell else people think success is. And I think Matt sums it up the best out of the, I think I'm on like 81 episodes to date now, in terms of what success, you know, really is. And people have danced around it, right? You know, I think people learn quickly that if they say money on the show, they're gonna get a sour look from me, you know, in terms of success. It's certainly important, right? Don't get me wrong, certainly important. But, you know, Matt defines success as personal enrichment. And I think that's a phrase that we need to start using more in our conversations today around work because, you know, he even said it, right? He's not the best drawer, but who gives a shit, right? He still can enjoy drawing. He still can enjoy playing guitar. He can still enjoy these things, right? And I love the fact that he's striving towards personal enrichment, right? It's such a different tone. Think about it. It's not like there is no finish line with personal enrichment, right? There's no, oh, I'm 100% enriched, you know, it's like you know, become saturated with all this joy and pleasure. It's almost like this, you know, built-in idea of that you're always sort of growing. And Matt was perfect for that. I really, he was one of my, even though he's my best friend, obviously, but you know, one of my favorite guests to have on the show because he really represents, in my mind, you know, not that I'll say the ideal, you know, listener, but the most common, right? Not everybody wants to start a business. Not everybody wants to be a coach or an entrepreneur. And let's face it, all of us have come from quote unquote nine to five jobs. So to me, there's just a pool of missed conversations where we're not having today, where it's just like, oh, well, let's get out of the rat race and you know, get onto the fast track and get to retirement. Let's be the part of the new rich and you know, make all this money and have all the time. And, you know, again, there's a, you know, we need money, right? Obviously, I need money to host this podcast, to have this microphone in front of my face, to have eaten my breakfast this morning, et cetera, et cetera. But again, Matt's message of personal enrichment, that's what we need to be thinking about. So then we had Lynn, and you know, 40 years in a field, right? We go from, you know, like the entrepreneur in a sense, you know, of Mark, and then Matt's kind of the transition here. He's in his 40s, you know, I guess midlife, you know, whatever, uh, with his career. And then we have Lynn Freest, and, you know, he was 40 years in a field plus, and that, you know, his work now is realizing that retirement is just a transition. And I I love that. And I asked him, you know, first off, how did you make it 40 years, right? Plus in a in a company, because, you know, that's what's sold to me, right? The same, you know, get a the same song and dance, get a degree, get a job, and get married. And those aren't bad things, but you know, that song is a little outdated, right? We need to intertwine it with some different values today. And, you know, obviously you can get married, get a degree, get a job. But the idea of staying in a job for 40 years was just, it's unheard of today, right? Most people, the statistics, I believe, when I looked years ago, it's like two to three years, people stay at a company before they leave and they transition. And, you know, he said, sure, there was change, right? But there was something that kept him in terms of like, you know, I don't know if it was family, but it's the workplace culture, right? I mean, that's what this sort of podcast is dancing around, right? That's what my PhD in industrial organizational psychology wants to, that's what I want to study, is this workplace culture and how to build flow into it to find to get people to want to come, right? To get people like Lynn and Matt to want to become personally enriched, right? I just I get frustrated when I hear time and time again that, you know, oh, I hate my nine to five working for the man, like that sucks. Like, go do your own thing. And it's like, that's such a Western culture perspective. I'm gonna just say narcissism, of just why do we all want to plant our own flax? You know, life is a team sport, right? I get it. We definitely, you know, want to take credit for things, you know, in some regard for what we do, but it's where's the idea of team, right? It's just crazy to me. I just I don't get it. You know, maybe it's just my narrow view of my own perspective living in the United States. But I find that, you know, the United States is very cutthroat like that, right? It's this idea of hustle culture. I see the unspoken competition, right? Even with other podcasters and other guests and hosts that I have on the show. Like I'm not competing with you, right? Right, you have your own message, you know. People, I'll message them and they like shy away from messaging me back because they're like intimidated or what have you. And it's a shame, right? It just kind of shows that we're, I'm gonna say in it for the wrong reasons, but we're not thinking bigger picture, right? Of how we can sustain something for a long time. And I think that's what Lynn really reminds me of is that when you stay true to your values, you can stay the course of a lifetime. And then we had Saw Mint. And, you know, very, I loved it, not to make her life very seem simplified, but she really reminded me of life being simplistic, right? Her, you know, her paychecks, if you will, went back to charity, to services that she'd loved and enjoyed that, you know, shaped her growing up, as she mentioned. And, you know, I think that's such an overlook thing today, right? That, you know, we have the opportunities to, you know, go to a store and, oh, do you want to donate a dollar? You know, when you're at the the salvation army around the holidays. And you're like, yay, okay, I'm doing that for charity. And it's like, yeah, all right, that's fine. You're doing your sort of service, I guess. But, you know, Saw is actively engaged, right? And one of the things that, you know, reminded me of too is that in the in my first book, The Impression of a Good Life, Finding Your Song and Dance, you know, when you get back down from the mountain, right, when you realize at the top your potential, these things that you can see out into the distance in your life, even looking back on where you came from, is that you have to get back down the mountain. And at the bottom of the mountain, you realize the sense of, wow, I want to do it again and maybe bring others along with me. And that's this idea of service, right? And Saw really kind of, you know, to me, encapsulates all this idea of service, right? She's doing all this hard work for herself, getting on podcasts, trying to, you know, just give back to others. And, you know, think about for you as a listener, like you've acquired enough experience in this lifetime, right? You're probably not three-year-old, three years old listening to this podcast. You're probably whatever in your teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, hundreds. We'll get them all there. And, you know, you have the potential to give back, right? And just think about what that looks like for you today, right? What does giving back mean? Right. And I don't mean just trading time for money. That's not giving back. And I don't mean paying your taxes. I mean the service you provide, you know, not from a business standpoint either. Even just the gestures, right? I just think of the, the, the polite, the manners, you know, holding a door for somebody and letting someone into traffic. And it's hard for me, right? I live in New England, you know, we're a bunch of assholes driving around here. I'll admit it. It's tough, you know, and then a rush to go nowhere, if you will. But just a reminder to use, to use manners and to respect one another. And, you know, it's really about serving one another. And then we had Melanie Gray, this idea of scrollamitis. I mean, that is absolutely hilarious, right? I mean, not hilarious, but, you know, sort of obviously scary that, you know, it's a disease now that we're scrolling on our phones. But, you know, the thing that actually I had to catch myself in the moment, you know, I was talking about value, right? And you've heard me say it time and time again, you know, there's these two definitions of the word value. And, you know, what's interesting, I had to look it up after because I'm like, you know what? I keep saying this, but you know, it's been about 11 years. It's been 11 years since I've published the first book where I talked about this. And of course, the definition has changed. So if you look at the word value, and, you know, I used to say that, well, it used to be defined as the way in which you were to live your life, right? The things that you uphold in your lifetime, the things that you value, right? Not your inanimate objects or, you know, crap like that. It's things like, you know, your family, your friends, honesty, integrity, you know, those sort of values, you know, speaking the truth, you know, those are that's what I was talking about. But sure enough, you know, words change like we all do, like the times. And, you know, now the definition means what something is worth. And I just was kind of shocked at that. You know, I was sort of a moment where I was like, wow, this is sort of sad, right? That we've changed the word, the meaning, uh, to mean what something is worth. And the problem with that is that now when we say value, we're gonna immediately think, well, this car is not worth check, you know, you know, I've got rust on my car. It's a 2017 Subaru Forester six speed, you know, it's now 2026. It's like, it's getting up there. It's got 133,000 miles. And it's like when you talk about value in the sense of what something is worth, you could say that, oh, that's only worth a couple grand. But to me, the value is beyond that because I'm driving a car that no one can drive, apparently, today. It's a great car for, you know, the New England winters, and it's great on gas, right? I mean, I get about 30 miles to the gallon for an SUV. So it was sad, I guess, when I saw that meaning of value. And, you know, Melanie just, you know, we had a great conversation about how we also hated, you know, the question of what do you do? And she said something really great in the sense that the problem is the conversation starts early in life. It starts when you're young. Oh, little Anthony, what do you want to do? And you're like, yeah, I want to be an astronaut and I want to be, you know, we start forming these identities around these professions that our culture has defined. And the problem with that is, you know, when that gets taken away or we don't live up to it, that was our identity. And now our identity gets ripped out the door, right? And that's not a good feeling, right? You know, I got fired from a job, and, you know, fortunately, I had been doing the work to realize that wasn't my identity, you know, to be a manager in a steel manufacturing company with 40 people under me, I could still be Anthony Synaglier and live in the world. But, you know, in terms of it just makes you think again, what do you do? I almost want to frame it now as like, you know, what are your goals? I mean, that sounds kind of stupid when you walk up to someone be like, hey, you know, what's up, John? What are your goals? You know, you don't want to say that. But I guess, you know, for you listeners, if you have another way to, you know, another greeting instead of what do you do, please send me an email, you know, write it in a in a review or what have you, and uh, or come on the show and talk about it because I really want to find a better way to have conversations with people today. And then we had Danny. And this was actually the second time we recorded. Now he was such a trooper because the first time we had an awesome conversation. And it was funny because we got done with the second one. He's like, oh man, we didn't even talk about anything from the first one. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of how I roll. I mean, I have the similar questions that I asked, but I let the conversation where people's thoughts and feelings and you know, where their mind is at kind of steer it in that given moment. And, you know, so we recorded a second time because what sucked was that, you know, unfortunately the audio didn't clean up in post. And I don't know what happened. I've definitely learned from that. I felt really sort of embarrassed to waste his time, to waste all my time. But he was so great, so patient with the whole process. We got him back on, you know, the recording studio and about a month later, and you know, his episode launched. And the biggest thing that, you know, of course, he's the Jim Carrey with a PhD. Uh, he reminds me of of the importance of storytelling, right? And that was, again, you hear it a lot, you know, with this idea of, oh, you got to tell your story. And then we equate that with, well, let me put on my Instagram story, or because that's part of my story. Like I'm giving these little scenes of my life. And yeah, it is, right? But the the problem with Instagram stories is that, again, we're putting up the best things, right? Of what we're doing. And I think story, you know, if you look at The Lord of the Rings, right? Or the Star Wars or whatever, these epic films that I am biased towards, you know, you have great evil and you have the good triumphing over evil. And I think that needs to come into play. Now, don't go on your Instagram story and start crying about how tough the world is, and that's your story. I mean, you gotta, I guess you don't have to, but I would recommend for better storytelling is to talk about why it sucks, right? And I think that's one of the things that I'm gonna start doing on Instagram is talking more about my frustrations, my story of yoga. And, you know, I know it's not related to work, but you've heard it from different sort of guests on the show that yoga is a great way to, you know, learn how to, these techniques, these skills to manage stress, to manage challenge. And how could that not easily translate over to work? I mean, the answer is yes, obviously, you can take yoga skills and use them off the map. But the power storytelling, that was that was Danny. And then Kevin. I mean, Kevin was a man. So I was on his podcast, Kevin McShann, and let's have this conversation. And, you know, he has the a disability, but I love what he says, right? Don't focus on the disability, focus on the person. I mean, he was such a it just it actually really moved me when I was talking with him. I was like, wow, this guy wants to be on my show. He wants to share his message. And I hope you, I want to say enjoy because it's not about an entertainment. I hope you got something from that episode in that we all feel like we're not good enough. We all feel like we have something missing. There's something wrong with us. And Kevin has, you know, a visible, you know, disability, and he says it all the time. Like people will misjudge that. They'll overlook the person and see the disability. But man, you hear him talk about his enthusiasm and his and his energy, you know, his ease there. And, you know, to me, start incorporating that in your life, right? Even if you have a quote unquote disability, who cares? Like, you know, dig into that. You know, just look at Kevin. He's now speaking to workplace cultures and you know more inclusive workplace environments with people with disabilities. I mean, how amazing is that story? He got rejected from all these interviews after graduating from college in journalism. And, you know, let's face it, I mean, I don't know what those interviewers said, but I'm sure they were like, oh, well, he's got a disability, so he's not going to fit. Well, sucks for them because now this guy's like killing it and doing awesome work on his, you know, his own podcasts and doing work, you know, for I believe it's, you know, in Canada, the work that he's doing. And again, so think of the importance of language, right? I say it, you know, some you've heard me say before with, you know, I don't like saying things that are negative. They're deltas, you know, things that we can change. And so when you think about, you know, disability or you think about a weakness, or you think about whatever, try to spin it like Kevin does, right? Focus on the person, not the disability. And then we had Holly Batram. And she was cool because, you know, we talked about, she came from an Eastern, you know, philosophy sort of background. You know, she lives in the West, if you will. And, you know, I wanted to jump right in because it was something that I was, I'm finishing up, you know, my third book in a rush to go nowhere, finding Shivasana. And one of the things that I came across is that Sham in his translation of the sutras of Patanjali indicates that people in the West are so fixated on, you know, having others tell them what to do. And so much that they're willing to pay thousands of dollars to for them to do it. And the problem with that, according to this ancient text, is that's not what we're, that's not what the point is of all this. It's about empowerment, right? My question to people when you need a coach, a spiritual guide, or whatever, where did you lose your own confidence along the way? Right? Where was it beaten out of you? You know, as a kid, you know, I have a a niece, she's really awesome, you know, just over two years, two and a half years old now. You know, again, obviously you got to tell her not to do dangerous things, but she's going out there and just living life. You know what I mean? She don't need someone to tell her what to do. She's whacking a drum. She's playing with the dogs, rolling around the grass, whatever she's doing, she's afraid to have fun. But people today are like, well, you know, I need a, I might need a coach, you know, I might need a spiritual guide to tell me what to do. I think the thing with that is that we're afraid to sit still. I think that's a problem. We can't sit with ourselves. Kids, they can sit with themselves, they play, they laugh, they whatever, right? You hear me say it, and I'll say it again, you know, the book from the Laughter Yoga book, you know, kids will laugh 400 times a day, adults less than 15, right? Adults can't sit with themselves. They're so afraid of their disabilities, their imperfections, they're not coaches, they're not whatever. It's like, but when you can sit and just I could think back to Matt, right? And just play guitar to play guitar, that's awesome, right? You don't need a coach to tell you to play guitar, just go play guitar. So as you can see, you know, Holly and I were certainly talking a lot about coaches. And she even said she's like, Oh, I can see why you'd be so against it. And she was before too. And a coach, and again, I guess like, you know, she indicates that it's all about the feedback, right? And I don't disagree with that, right? So when I again was playing golf, competitive golf, I would go see Dan Diskon, you know, at Amherst Country Club. He's no longer there. I think he moved to Florida, and he would tweak my swing, you know, and he would, you know, say, hey, you know, Tony, your rhythm's off or whatever. And he would literally coach me on my golf swing. But I guess like to have gotten that point, I would practice for hours, right? I would spend almost a lot of Saturdays hitting balls for five to six hours a day, chipping and putting, you know, for hours on end. And then I would go see the coach, right? So there's a fine line, right? I think, you know, with you having a coach with someone guiding you. I think my issue with coaching, as I really thought about our conversation with Holly, is that in the West, we unfortunately equate it with this idea of, you know, okay, if I spend thousands of dollars on this coach, this money therefore will give me happiness. And I don't like that sort of like, you know, sort of black and white simple correlation. The problem with that is that we can be happy when we're doing the simple things, right? I think back to Matt, right? You know, playing his guitar, learning to draw. I think back to Mark when he's, you know, learning his lines, you know, to be in a in a TV show. I think that's we can find joy in those things, right? And I think that's what's overlooked. And we can, we all have the power to do that. I'm giving you the power, right? I'll be your coach today and I will tell you that you have the power, you have the ability, you have the confidence, you have the skill to try something today. And you know what? If you do it and it sucks, who cares? Who friggin' cares? Just try it again and try it again. I recently I love Rush, the band Rush, and Annika Niles, she's friggin' killing it for, you know, Neil Peart, unfortunately, passed away, their drummer. And Annika Niles is playing with Getty Lee and Alex Lifeson, touring, you know, across the country now. And Annika is playing matchstick, and it's the way that you hold the drums. And Neil Peart, you know, growing up, he's one of my huge idols in the drumming world. And he he got me into playing traditional. And Annika, you know, is playing match, and I just can see her fluidity. She's so she's amazing. She's an awesome drummer, go YouTuber. And, you know, I'm like, oh, well, let me play match grip. I'm gonna tell you it sucked, but I'm I'm still trying to do it. My like hand hurts, you know, because I'm so used to playing it the other way. And you know what? It doesn't matter, right? Yeah, I could go have a coach tell me, oh, you hold the stick like this and that. And yes, if you want to learn technique, I get it, right? But I guess like to me, I think of back when, I think it was Jack Nicholas, a golfer, he said that, you know, he learned to hit the ball hard and far. And then he got coached on how to control it. And I think there's a, you know, a thing to that, because if you come into something thinking, oh, I'm so scared, I got to do one step at a time and be perfect, you're not gonna get the full essence, right? I guess like I don't know how to describe that or articulate it yet. And maybe you do and you want to come on the show and talk about it, right? But I think like, you know, when you try to swing hard, try to hit the ball hard, but then know that, okay, I'm gonna refine this. That's different, right? And maybe that's what coaches do today. I don't know. But that was June 2026, guests. All amazing. Loved all the conversations. Again, thanks for taking the time for your reviews. They've been really awesome to read. And I'll be, you know, showcasing a review every month now on the show. And, you know, just to also future stuff on the show, you know, I want to start integrating video into upcoming episodes. We'll see how that goes. Uh, no, no promises for sure. I definitely am going to hold myself accountable for saying this out loud. But, you know, video seems to be the new thing. And, you know, July, you're gonna start seeing more of my face, good or bad, and that are the guests. So thanks for tuning in, and we'll see you next time. Thank you.