E90: The Future of Work is Inner Work with Anne Karber

Most of us are living in a world where division, distraction, and superficial connections are the norm—and yet, our most powerful resource is right under our noses. What if mastering your emotions and reconnecting with community could be the game-changer you need to thrive in a fractured world? Anne Karber is a passionate entrepreneur and founder of the “And Project,” known for her work in emotional intelligence and leadership development. She’s on a mission to boost not just individual success, but a collective shift toward unity, vulnerability, and authentic connection. 

In this episode, you'll discover how increasing EQ can transform your leadership, relationships, and personal peace. We break down practical tactics to slow down in today’s fast-paced world—like simple exercises to enhance self-awareness, and how to reclaim your energy from social media’s clutches. Anne shares inspiring stories of men who’ve turned their emotional struggles into strengths, unlocking resilience and profound life changes. 

Plus, she exposes the profit-driven forces fueling division and outrage—and how you can fight back by cultivating community and inner peace. If you're ready to upgrade your emotional intelligence, forge meaningful bonds, and help heal a divided society, you won’t want to miss this conversation. If you’re tired of feeling out of control, caught in social media’s trap, and craving genuine connection, this episode holds the key.

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https://letsgetnakedpodcast.com/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

All right, welcome to the work sucks, but I like it podcasts. Today we have Ann Carver. She's a passionate and driven entrepreneur who has spent decades helping small businesses succeed. As the founder of FJ, she turns big ideas into bold realities. She also hosts the podcast, Let's Get Naked. Ann, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Thanks, Tony. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

No, looking forward to this. So, Ann, define work for us today.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

You're going out swinging, right? I love it. I think it's very different because I think people work in different ways now. It used to be very traditional in, you know, the nine to five gig. And I just think with all of the technology that we have, as well as people really feeling like they need more for their souls, I think work can look a lot differently nowadays. So, you know, for me, my work is all the time and it's not the traditional. You know, I think, you know, it's whatever for me leads your soul. Uh work can be what feeds your pockets, and I totally get that. But in later in my life, it's that's secondary to kind of what leads my soul and what feels like where I'm supposed to be going. So yeah, I just I I follow that. I know everyone else maybe has a different approach to like what pays the bills, but cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

So what's leading your soul today with your work?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

You know, the biggest thing that's leading my soul is just humanity in general. I think we're at this place right now that we're very, very divided, and I think it's a really scary and dangerous place. And so everything that I'm doing with my soul work is trying to to move the needle as far as that's concerned. You know, I've started a a movement recently called the And Project that just promotes unity over division because I think there's so many things that go against unity and are really just an assault on us as humans in general. So that's what I'm really passionate about. What that looks like is, you know, the podcast looks like the book that I recently put out, and then FJ is kind of the brains behind everything to kind of pull it all together and and keep everything moving. I have different businesses as well, you know, real estate. My husband and I share a manufacturing company, and so that FJ just kind of is the the brains that takes care of all of the things.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

So humanity being divided, I guess, where I guess walk us through that. How do you see the world today? Why is it divided?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Yeah. You know, I I think it's very profitable. I think division is very profitable. And so you look at politics, you look at media, you look at organized religion, you look at all of these things that are so rooted in fear, and then they just pit one each other, you know, pit us against one another. I think COVID didn't do us any favors by just connecting with one another and realizing that, like, hey, your neighbor Bill isn't a bad guy, but now that we don't connect with one another, it's like you see something on the internet, everyone gets outraged, everyone's these keyboard keyboard warriors that are happy to just say completely outrageous things to one another. And and again, fe you know, fear and division is very profitable. And so a lot of people aren't really paying attention and understanding that that's an assault on us as humans, and we really need to do something about it. And so for me, I have all of these people in my life who are like, yes, they agree, and then what do we do about it? And so I started this and project just to bring people together, and then we'll figure it out, right? I don't have any of the answers right now, other than knowing that we need to bring people together that believe the same thing, and so that's really what's driving my work right now.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

No, I love that. So you said the word profitable, and let's face it, we all have to make money to live. I guess where do you strike the balance, right, with being profitable and I guess yeah, what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Yeah, yeah. You know, these keyboard warriors, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Yeah, it's it's a great question because you know, you have to put food on the table still. You know, for me, I'm in a position in my life where I've I've sold businesses and started businesses. I've been a hustler my entire life. So I've I've made, you know, nice amount of money in selling previous businesses and doing, you know, real estate deals and stuff like that. And so for me, my balance is probably different than most people because I just want to help so much that I'm sure my husband would like me to have a better balance of money coming in than money going out to help things. But you know, you do. You have to kind of figure out how how passionate are you towards the things that you are and what are you willing to put on the line for that. For me, I think humanity in general is in a really dangerous place right now, and so it has me putting maybe more than some people would think is reasonable on the line for for what I believe in. But yeah, there's definitely a balance. Mine just happens to be out of whack for what most people would think.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

So I love your your talk on humanity. So I was on a podcast with Nessa the Vivacious, and she has her podcast, Humanity 2.0. And I guess I'm very curious to hear what you think of in terms of where humanity should be. Describe us to us what humanity should look like today, not divided, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah. You know, I think just connection is if we could just promote connection on the on a on a level of just who's around your house in your neighborhood, you know. Community, I think, you know, churches, organized religions do a great job of that. But if you're not a religious person or into that, you know, where do you then go to get your community, if not from an organization like that? And so what I would love for it to look like is people being able to connect where it doesn't have anything to do with your political affiliation. It doesn't have anything to do with, you know, who your who your big guy is, right? To me, but my big guy is uh my higher power. He can look like all sorts of different things. And I don't think anyone is right or wrong. I think really promoting to people so that they understand we're all meant to come at this from our own unique POV, and I'm not going to agree and see things exactly like you do. And what would be the fun if we did, anyways? And so being able to really celebrate one another's differences and have conversations where we talk about those things, where we look for solutions and common ground instead of screaming into the void about how we're right and the other people are wrong. Everyone's gotten really good at that, but where has that gotten us? I will say it just continues to get further and further down the road of not great. And so really being able to come together with one another and find common ground is what I would like to see over just the division and the, you know, everyone's like outraged that I'm not outraged about all of these things that are happening in the world. And I'm like, I don't think that's normal, you guys. You know, you have all of these things where it's like the media feeds you what they want you to be outraged on because they're profiting on the more that you click, the more that you stay engaged, the more that you do all of those things. They're not doing that from a good place, they're doing that from a place of what get makes them the most money. And so we really have to fight back against that and say, you know what, our energy is ours to have, and we're not just gonna give that away to whoever the highest bidder is.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

So I'll admit, Anne, you know, years ago, like I viewed life as, okay, just got to get my job, get my degree, get married. You kind of find this lane, right? And you talked about inclusion and sense of community. I mean, let's face it, the system is kind of like, especially as a nine to fiver, right? Even I guess as a hustler entrepreneur, you're always go, go, go. How do you build into the day the sense of like and and community and interacting with people? Like, how do you do that?

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Yeah. You know, I think it's as simple as saying hi to people. I think it's as simple as start with that, right? Like when you're when you're waiting for an elevator, don't pick your phone out of your pocket and pull out your social media to look at that. Make eye contact with someone, make a have a conversation with someone, connect with people in your community or at your kids' schools or different events, connect with people at work where it's not just about talking about the latest outrage that's happening, but talk about what are you doing in your life to be better? What am I doing? You know, share with each other some of your wins or other positive things that are happening. I think it's very easy and cheap to come from a place that's rooted in fear and in hate, and it takes a little bit extra effort to, you know, have those connections with people. But when you actually ask the cashier at the grocery store or at Home Depot how they're doing and wait for a response and listen and really engage and stay plugged in, those things matter, you know. Those connections really matter, and everyone's gotten so busy doing this whole thing, you're just trying to put one foot in front of the other and stay in that on that track of like what you said, the nine to five and getting the the 2.3 kids and the house and the because that's what we've been sold that that's where happiness lives. But I got all of those things, and I'm telling you, that's not where happiness lives. I think we're literally meant to be in community with one another, and and we need to to connect back to that instead of continuing down this path of division.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

So, why the podcast then? I just want to get all these things on the table and we'll kind of join it all up here in the end. So it's called Let's Get Naked. So I guess why the title and why are you passionate about kind of sharing that message?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

So let's get naked is is emotionally. It's it's talking about anything that's vulnerable and all of the things. So I'm passionate about it because for me, I was raised in this along with a lot of other people in my generation. I'm 49, that vulnerability is weakness, you know, emotions are not meant to be processed, like all of that kind of stuff. You just stuff it down and numb on top of it. And what I have found in the last you know, handful of years is our emotions are our compass. We're supposed to use them like that. And it I think the majority of the population has an elementary level I uh EQ, excuse me. And I I think if we actually focused on improving that, that we would level up collectively just from that standpoint alone, you know. So it's like we weren't taught how to use our emotions, and now we're finding out, and most of us, you know, maybe have known longer than just recently, but that's your superpower, your vulnerability, your emotions, your being able to connect with others, those are your superpower. And so, my, you know, the show and the conversations that we have are so that people don't feel like they're out on an island by themselves because it's so easy to promote these filters and this, you know, fake BS of like, look at how amazing my life is. It's like life is messy, you know, life is really messy. And I don't think we need more people that are saying, oh my God, look how amazing my life is. It's more like, hey, look at all these burners that I touched. They were all really hot. Let me share the stories with you so that other people can say, you know what, that I'm dealing with that too. You know, life happens in those messy middle pieces that I just think don't get talked about enough.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

No, I love that a lot. I feel like it resonates with this show, of course, right? Work sucks, but I like it. So one of the things we'd like to say, Ann, on the show is that success is not a matter of good luck. It's good skills. What would you say in terms of, I guess I'll call it the skill of building emotional, this emotional compass. What is the important skill to do that? What what do you see as important to finding this sort of compass with our emotions?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Yeah, I think just really being able to slow down for just a second, right? When something happens to you, when something triggers you, pause for just a second. You know, I think so many of us have gotten into this habit of reacting without that pause. So we react rather than respond. And I think it's a really dangerous place because when we do that, we cause our own suffering. You know, if you think about if you fire back an email really quickly or something where you got, you know, your emotions got into it and you didn't have control over them, generally speaking, we cause our own suffering by sending an email that maybe we hadn't thought all the way through or whatever that looks like, it gets us in trouble. So I think just even figuring out how to pause for a second is really important in developing your emotional intelligence and just having a savage self-awareness about you know what that looks like for you. People are so busy and so fast-paced that we don't slow down long enough to say, How does that make me feel? Is that does that feel like it's aligned with what I have going on? And I think when you get really intentional about building your life, that's an important thing to be aware of so that you're not just on this, you know, mediocre hamster wheel that we all think life is supposed to be about. I'm here to tell you it's you know, I I think the game is much different than that. I think we've all been kind of led down this path, and I just don't think it's like that. You know, I in my book I talk about energy being Skittles just from a standpoint of being able to like get your head around it and work with that, because I think your energy is your most valuable resource. But if you didn't know that or you didn't spend time really kind of getting aware about how am I spending that resource, then you're not even making those decisions to make your life better. You're just hamster wheeling it where you get up the next day and go, okay, we're gonna do it again, okay, we're gonna do it again, okay, we're gonna do it again. But that's that's maddening. That's maddening to keep doing things from that perspective. And life can be so much better if you just get intentional about what your resources are, what your goals are, and then align your actions to get those goals. You can have whatever life you want if you just realized that.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

So I want you to get technical so people can sort of realize these things, right? To slow down. What do you recommend in terms of like maybe an exercise, an activity? I mean, what what things can they specifically do to start building this skill, if you will?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Yeah. Of of slowing down or of ta tapping into their emotions?

SPEAKER_00 12:56

I guess both.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, for me, I think there's something to be to be said for just being plugged in and present and what it is that you're doing. You know, there's so many distractions nowadays that have us checking our phones, checking our this, you know, your kids come in to talk to you and you're still typing an email and trying to talk to them as well and do all of these things. When you realize that you're the one that's holding the lever on how fast things are going, you can also be the one that slows it down. So when you're doing something, be intentional about being present with that. I have found that to be the biggest, the biggest pro tip that I have found over the last several years of just not thinking about what I have to do, not worrying about what happened yesterday, but really being present in what's happening right now. So focusing on that skill. The thing I tell people that, like new people that I start to work with on this topic, is pay attention when you wash your hands. Think about how that water feels, or when you're loading the dishwasher, maybe. Don't let your mind be a hundred other places. Just think about the task that you're doing at hand and allow your mind to just be present with that. It's a really beautiful way to get it to not just be chirping at you all the time because that's what our brains do if you allow it to, is it'll just, you know, you understand. The smile on your face tells me you know exactly what I'm talking about. So, you know, being able to really be present and be intentional with you know, with who you are and just connecting back into you because I believe that that's where all of the answers are.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

So I teach yoga, and the reason why I'm sort of laughing in is that people can't even sit with themselves in a yoga class, you know. It's just very fascinating, you know, not to call any students out on this this podcast, but a student, you know, had a phone in Shivatana and lying down on the ground, and you're just like, what are you doing? But you can't it's tough, right? You can't you can't call them out. It's like it's a very like what would you do in that situation? I'm just curious. Not that you're teaching yoga, but I guess how do you you would fair enough? You're a better person than I am.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Like you're you're the only one who you're the only one who's who's you know suffers in this situation by not plugging into yourself. I just don't think people realize how how crazy savagely important your own energy is. And if you're letting it be robbed by all of these things that just you this phone is the worst thing on the planet, right? Social media and and these other things, you don't feel good after you've done it, you know. So it's like I use these analogies in my book that because I'm a very visual person, it's like if you went to a restaurant and you got food poisoning, you wouldn't ask them for a to-go bag so that you can take it home and just continue to eat a little bit of it every day. But that's exactly what social media is for most people. You know, I get it that it's a necessary evil and we all want to like put our businesses and our services and our stuff out there. But as a consumer, if you're sitting there and just scrolling as your downtime, no one has ever been like, I feel refreshed and ready to go after spending an hour on the social media, and yet we still all do it. So it's like when you have someone in Shivasana that's on their phone, that would make me cringe, and I would probably pull them aside afterwards and just say, This isn't this maybe isn't the right time for you or the right setting for you, but plug into yourself.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Put your phone away. So how do you balance it then, Ann, you know, with the phone? Because let's face it, it is that necessary evil, right? We need the phone to get from A to B, maybe. You know, we don't have maps anymore. We need to call our kids, you know. How do you balance it? How do you balance it?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

I think finding ways to be able to put your phone down and have time when you don't have your phone, right? One of the things that I highly recommend is not to take your phone to bed because I think a lot of people will lay in bed and scroll on their phones, and then it's like, then they're like, Oh, I didn't sleep well. Well, I don't know if you realize what it is, boss, but it's the phone, you know? Or like not have that be the first thing that you reach for. Have it be where you set your phone down and go for a walk for even if it's just 10 or 15 minutes where you don't have it on you. I recommend having it where you don't take your phone for a whole day, right? On a Saturday, just don't take your phone, see how amazingly crazy that feels. And like you said, if it if you have a hard time sitting in peace and quiet, you're gonna struggle with that one at first. But then you'll find ways where it's like, this is amazing. I like to do things where I can't take my phone in. Whether it's just for an hour or or whatever, try to just carve out some time where you don't have your phone. It's a leash, you know. So trying to figure out just simple ways in your individual life where it isn't the first thing that you touch at the first beginning of your day and the last thing that you hold at the end of your day. Figure out small little ways because it pays off big.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Does social media factor into your and project? How does that fit into building community?

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Yeah, you know, it's wild because you know, you say I we're doing this whole like anti-social media, and also how do you spread the word for that? That's why I asked. Right, right, right. Exactly. So that's the whole like necessary evil component of it. You know, we have we have the website that people can connect on, and that the intent will be to be able to have a way, you know, to bring people together and and in community where we go out in public and see real life human beings that we're meeting the old-fashioned way, you know. But yes, initially it's going to definitely be that has to be the vehicle to be able to spread spread the word that that's even a thing that we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

So how would you define community then? Now that we've got sort of like this understanding of online and offline worlds, how do you see community today?

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Yeah. You know, I think it's just in your in your neighborhoods, in your cities, in your areas, you know. I I have folks that I've connected with recently who put together events where it's like a Sunday, you know, afternoon or evening in the park, and he'll just show up with a bunch of different games like wiffle ball and you know, all of these different games. And then he has people that just show up, you know, people that don't know one another, people that just come out for a couple of hours and just get to know one another. And I look at that and I think that's what it needs to be. That's what, you know, that's what community is supposed to be, so that people can meet each other out in the wild. You know, I don't know, I don't know if you know your listeners are big into like dating apps or that kind of thing, but it's like there's nothing natural about doing that. Everyone that I talk to is so frustrated with that. It's like we're meant to get out into our communities and do things with other people that are like-minded that we are, whether that's joining a hiking group or joining a group where we get outside. You know, you feel better when you're out in nature, when you have the sun shining on your face, when you're not just sitting behind a laptop or your phone looking at how terrible things are out in other parts of the world. You know, it's like when people talk about being depressed, it's like, well, stop doing depressing shit, you know, like it's it's really true. And I'm not saying that there's not other things that go into that, but that's a good start. That's a really great start of getting outside and finding your people. I know that that's hard to do, but finding groups that you can meet up with in your local area and build community that way.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

So I look at like social media as like addiction, right? I mean, we can all admit that it's an addiction. And when we think addiction, I think of, well, drugs, bad addictions, right? So it is hard to break away from that and to go outside. It is hard to go out and talk to your neighbor. I guess like get a little technical hand for us of how we can break that habit. There's no AA meetings, I guess, for social media, right? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there are.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

There's not. You know, some of the things that I did that I tried at first because it, you know, when I started doing the show, I don't I was not a big social media person before that. And then in doing the show, that's kind of part of the necessary evil. And I've, you know, gone from having people to help to where I'm kind of helped, you know, doing it myself and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What I found works is putting that app on the very last page of your home screen in a folder that says, Are you sure you want to? Right? Because it makes like you're standing at the elevator and you don't know, you don't want to be looking at someone or make it weird or whatever, picking up your phone and then the head, it's so easy when that Instagram app is right there on the front, then before you know it, you've wasted five or ten minutes and you don't feel good about anything, you know? So make it harder to get to, I think is a is a good start for that. Or also saying, I'm not going to spend X amount more more time and set a timer, right? So if you say, I've got 20 minutes a day that I'm gonna devote to whatever your scrolling is or catching up with people, then set a timer and hold that to yourself, right? Honor your own commitment to yourself by not going past that. Because it is. I mean, they they spend billions of dollars on on these algorithms and and robbing you of your most valuable resource. So, you know, they're going to win. You have to be able to set boundaries for yourself to be stronger than that.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

I've definitely been a victim of that. I mean, I'm gonna admit I love that technique. I've actually deleted my Facebook and I've given my Instagram account to my girlfriend, which she manages. So I don't have anything on my phone.

unknown 21:17

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

But it's but it's tough though, right? Because it you, as you said, it's a necessary evil, right? It's a way to connect and connect, it's a way to promote your message. And it's good, I love that sort of specific technique. So, and I want you to dive in a little more with the emotions, because I feel like in Western culture, you know, speaking, I guess, emotions are looked at as weakness, right? It's not like, but to me, it's one of the most important things. I'm gonna bias it here, things that we need to do to be successful in whatever we do. So I guess what are your thoughts on why our Western culture, if you believe that, I guess maybe you don't, um, is just not looked at as something that we have to work on. Like companies ignore oh, who gives a About how they feel.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yeah. You know, it's it's wild to me because I look at that and I think you're right. I think largely companies don't really give it enough attention. But if you say, okay, IQ obviously is important for how you're successful in your work. EQ, I will, I will argue, is more important than IQ. So say you have this guy who's super smart and he's leading, you know, leading his his department in his company and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but he has no emotional intelligence whatsoever. You bump into that guy's ego and he loses his mind, right? Like people don't want to work for him, they're he's not plugged into human development. I mean, there's so many things that like make that guy a liability instead of an asset, only because his EQ is so underdeveloped. And so it's like why companies would not want to focus on that more is is mind-boggling to me. We we know this information now, we see this at the forefront, we understand, okay, what does a low EQ look like in your day-to-day work? It should be a no-brainer to me that companies would want to develop their their employees and their EQ levels. It just levels everything up. I've watched it happen over and over again.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

So, how do you convince a company that's very stubborn and stuck on the ways of nope, hard skills are going to be the thing that drives us forward? How do you pitch the idea and sell it to these workplace cultures that just say, no, we don't need to consider soft skills or the emotions of the employees?

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Aaron Powell You know, I think really just kind of showing them comparison and numbers is really where it's at. So it's like looking at, okay, what do you have when you have a leader who is emotionally intelligent versus one that doesn't? And what does that look like? What is the feedback from employees and people that work with that leader? What does that look like? Those are real easy ways to point out to companies that say, hey, you need to invest in the in your leadership specifically. You should invest in the entire company, but leadership specifically, as far as their EQ is concerned, it will just help the whole entire company level up and that it just it translates to dollars very easily once you can kind of show those points.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I love that with the specific feedback and your experiences working with you know small businesses. What is some feedback that has stood out that people have realized, like, oh, I need to like do this sort of training?

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I think a lot of times not to pick on men, but I am gonna pick on men.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

Sure, go ahead and you can go for it.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

They don't realize because of the fact that they're so out of tune with their own emotions. If you're not in tune with your own emotions, you can never definitely not be in tune with your employees' emotions. And so just that disconnect alone is huge. So just being able to kind of point that out. If you had a higher EQ, you would be able to tap into this from your employees, or your employees would feel like they had a leg to stand on when they come talk to you about something instead of you being like, you know, coming from this place of rub some dirt on it, you know. Yeah, right, right. I don't know what words I'm allowed to say on the case. Right, yeah, no, you can't. That was how we were raised. That was how we were raised, you know, is like rub some dirt on it. Uh if you, you know, like the whole when you're crying, I'll give you something to cry about. I mean, that was that whole mentality.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Yeah, don't be a pansy, you know. I'm already crying.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, so so just kind of breaking that in in 40, 50, 60-year-old men has been challenging. And also for me, I love it. It's like that's for me very rewarding work to be able to get somebody hooked into my book as an example and then watch as their emotional intelligence levels up because it's just super easy and approachable from the way that my brain works and the way that I spit it out. So I watch these men who are like they go from being that big angry truck guy on the freeway throwing Skittles out the window, you know, for with their energy, to where they understand that that's their resource and using that so that they can plug in in a more powerful way with their family, with their kiddos, you know, at work. It just it's a game changer when you realize how valuable that resource is.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

What's a a case, if you don't mind sharing? Obviously, you don't have to disclose the name on the show, but that you worked with, you know, a man that was, I want to say, struggling with their emotions. What was the sort of like breakthrough for that sort of experience that you had that you don't mind sharing?

SPEAKER_01 26:07

No, I don't. I, you know, I have one that comes to mind right away that is so powerful, it's it makes me emotional to even talk about it. So he was dealing with stuff in life where he just didn't know how to handle, you know, going through a divorce. Now you're a single dad, you don't get your kids all the time, you're grieving the loss of what you kind of thought was this life that you were going to have. The biggest breakthrough was in really showing him what energy is, what his energy is. You know, that whole like energy equals Skittles. I know it seems so silly, but it's like once you realize and you have this visual of it so that you can put your hands on it basically and just understand that that's your resource and that that can get spent either on just being this angry asshole or on throwing the ball with your kids when you realize that that energy spends the same way and that you're choosing to spend it on being angry in traffic, and that's something that happens every single day, as opposed to spending it on your family. Once you realize that that's an either-or, it's an easy choice, you know, and to watch that as that has changed his whole entire life, it's it's humbling to me because I again I just don't think people realize your most valuable resource is not your money or your time, it is your energy. And once you understand how to work with it, you can literally be the architect of your own life in whichever way you want it to be. I mean, it's it's so powerful. It just gets me so jacked up even talking about it because it's No, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

I love it. So I'm always curious. In that example that you shared, when did this person realize, like, oh shit, I need to like change what I'm doing? Stop throwing these Skittles out the window. Did they just like what what happened? What was that like catalyst like sort of moment?

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I think what the first time that they that they tried it, where it was like, okay, just for a week, try not to get pissed off in traffic. Don't get pissed. That's all you have to do. That's low-hanging fruit. I'm not asking you to make any changes, doing anything else. But if you realize that when you lose your cool in traffic, that you're spending your resource and you can use that for something else, you get to choose what that is. As soon as he did that, it was a huge aha moment. And now it now it's like I would just watch as that bleeds into everything, not just his family, you know, because when you realize I can spend this yelling at somebody in traffic that cut me off because I didn't have a high enough emotional intelligence to be able to handle traffic. Traffic happens every single day, right? We're grown-ass humans behind the wheel. And I know that people lose their minds, but that's your resource. You can spend it there or you can spend it throwing the ball with your kid after work. But if you spend it all on the freeways, you're out of Skittles by the time the end of the day comes and you're blown out and you don't want to, you know, go throw the ball with your kid. If you realized it was an either-or and you fix the emotion component of that, it's a no-brainer. You know, so to watch this happen in these 40, 50-year-old men's lives, eh, I'm I'm addicted to that, right? I'm addicted to showing this to these men of like, it you don't have to live this way. I think we've left our men to bleed quietly in the dark, unfortunately, because there's been all of these resources that we put towards healing women and doing all this stuff. And I'm I'm obviously a woman, I'm all pro that too. But, you know, being able to really help our men is super savagely important because they're not traditionally going to be the ones that go for therapy. They're not going to be the ones that go for, you know, the touchy-feely kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Yeah, no, I'm with you. I hear you.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Yeah, you know, while you're in traffic, listen to my copy of my book. Get some of the, you know, get some of the uh visuals down and just see what's possible. Because I've just watched as every man that I've been hooked up with to do this, it's it's changing their lives in ways that you can't even get your head around.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

No, that's awesome. So Ann this is the work sucks, but I like it podcast. What is one thing that sucks about your work? And what are you doing to make it not suck?

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Yeah. Oh, God, that's a good one. You know, for me, I think I think just being able to cram more than I should in. And so what I'm doing about that is being more intentional about prioritizing. You know, I would like to have 40 hours in every day because I'm very passionate and I just want to cram more into it, but realizing I'm not supposed to take care of everything, and then being being intentional about prioritizing, I think that's really big. I think a lot of people they think, oh, everything's a priority, but if everything's a priority, nothing is a priority. So that prioritizing I think is really savage.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

No, I love that, Anne. So you've talked about your book, you mentioned it. If listeners want to kind of like learn more about it, first of all, what is the book and where's a good place for them to land to pick it up?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Sure. So the book is called Life Hack Playbook. It's available on Amazon or on the podcast website. You can get check that out at let's get nakedpodcast.com. My website is ancarber.com, and then the and project is theandproject.com, and and is spelled A-N-N-E-D, because apparently we can't have symbols and websites. So that's where you can find out all of the things that I'm working on and get involved or get a copy. Again, highly recommend, especially for the angry, angry big truck guy in traffic because I've I've watched us, I've changed their lives. It's powerful stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Love it, man. Well, thanks for being on the show today. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Thanks, Tony. Appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Thank you.